i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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