my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
