I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
