Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
