drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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