Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
