i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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