I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
