somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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