I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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