Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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