i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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