If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
