areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Im part way to drunk.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
