He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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