he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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