I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
