lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
