everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
