but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
