my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
