So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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