I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
