im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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