so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you inspire me to be a worse person
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
