i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
