you're like a bully in the Christmas story
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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