Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Randomize
