I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
