he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
