hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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