but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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