Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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