Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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