When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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