i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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