You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
