absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
