is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
