If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
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