Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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