Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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