I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
