i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We left the knife in your bed.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
