How'd it feel making her break her religion?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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