I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
