Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
