About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
