I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
