office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
