Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
