So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
